Saturday 12 January 2013

Numb...

Its a numbing feeling... Why to do what I'm doing? Its so pointless! its all detached, really. Not mine to feel. Laugh? Ha-Ha... Just a hollow sound, echoes in the mouth... Echoes through the past...

Yeah, its cold. But is that making me shiver? Is that the reason my hands are shaking like so? Or is it something that's falling away... down... down... deep below....

"You just need to move on...!"

"He's not the right one..."

"He still cares, I know he does..."

"He's tried, over and over... But he just can't mould you into love..."

"Arey, tune shaadi bhi kar li?"
"Hat! Koi shadi-vadi nahi karni mujhe..."
"Mujhse bhi nahi...?"

"...I'm on a no-return flight from Switzerland to Kashmir...."

"...don't you dare say you're lucky..."

"It's not you, its WE. We're the luckiest to have each-other..."

"Gnyt B-)"


What's the dream? What's real? But does it matter now? It's breaking apart... Crumbling... Like all my dreams.... Shred to pieces....

"YOU need to tell him. You need to end it on your terms. Its gonna hurt. You'll cry. But it's for the good..."

"Your good..."

"...I won't leave you like she did.... Promise..."

"That's what I' gonna do... End up doing what I'd been saying I wouldn't for the last two years..."
"He'll hate me for this..."
"It's all gone..."
"I don't want to live without him..."

Yes, maybe that'll work. Crying hard onto your shoulder, Leah....
But I don't want to stop....
Its too miserable to stop...
Let go of him...
Two years... I never did what I should have done... I couldn't do anything...

End it... End it...

But how?

"Wanna talk to you. Can you spare me some time after 12 tonight?"