The Mobius Strip

It was a new moon night, and even though it was supposed to be a very dark one, a faint light was peeking through Leah's window. Her mind flooded with questions that haunted her every night, Leah found herself unable to sleep. She sat up in bed, now aware of the starlight in the room. Only, she wasn't aware it's starlight. "Moonlight!" she thought, smiling to herself as she hopped out of bed and moved towards the window. Leah loved watching the moon. Though she knew there was nobody up there to answer her questions, she somehow seemed to stumble upon answers during her watching-the-moon sessions. She looked up at the dark blue blanket that endlessly stretched above her, with diamonds studded on it. But something was bothering her. She strained her neck to get a larger view of the entire sky but there was no sign of the brilliant golden orb that her heart ached to see. She turned back to observe the light in her room and realized that it indeed wasn't moonlight, it was much fainter than that. Awes-struck, she turned back towards the sky and mouthed the word "starlight" as she continued to gaze at the diamonds. She found it pretty funny that the moon, who actually just reflected the light of the sun, overshadowed the light of the stars, who emitted their own light. It was a funny little thing that a mere reflection of light could spellbind us more than light itself. The more she thought about it, the more she felt the truth dawning upon her - what appeared to be a bright truth was actually a mere reflection of what people around you think, whilst the actual thought, the actual truth, remained hidden behind the shadows; and in order to discover the real thing, you need to put aside the apparent truth completely. Shut out the moon, and you'll know the stars shine too. Leah could feel the weight of the truth pushing her down. She heaved a deep sigh and turned around, unable to digest her own thoughts. "Am I really doing the wrong thing? Have I been wrong all along? If yes, will I ever be able to set it right? What'll happen if I can't?" Leah shook her head as she felt a mild headache hitting her. She turned back to return to her bed when she noticed it - lying on her study table was a paper strip, its ends taped to each other in an awkward fashion. It's existence on her study table wasn't unknown to Leah, but the starlight seemed to illuminate it in a strange way, as if reminding her about its presence, and what lay in its past...

"Mobius strip? What's that, Li?" Emma asked, looking at Leah with her tiny eyes punctuated with question marks. She held a strip of paper whose ends were taped to one another in an unusual way. Leah smiled as she took the strip from Emma's hand and moved her finger along the edge of the strip. She started from a point and traced the edge of the strip without lifting her finger up and, quite to Emma's surprise, ended up at the same point from which she had started. Leah looked up at Emma and smiled as she noticed the look of bewilderment on her face.
"But..this can't be! This is clearly a three dimensional thing! This just can't be..!" Emma exclaimed.
"I knew you would react like that, sweetheart," Leah winked, "but this is true. This is a funny little thing I found on wikipedia the other day and I thought you were the best person who should be enlightened."
"Amazing! Simply amazing!" Emma said, eyeing the strip closely now and tracing her own finger along its edge to experience the magic herself. 
The Mobius strip that Leah had prepared was a shabby one, she had torn of a piece of paper, given a half twist to one end and taped it to the other end. Emma quicky went inside and cut out a neat strip of paper and followed Leah's direction. She now held a well-defined Mobius strip in her hand.
"Here," she said, holding it out to Leah.
"Great job, Em!" Leah said, smiling as she took the perfect strip from Emma. Leah could never stop marveling at the genius of a person Emma was. 
"Wear it like a band, Li!" Emma cried.
Leah slid the Mobius strip on her wrist, careful enough not to tear it during the process.
"That's for our friendship, isn't it? Something that has no end," Leah said, holding Emma's hand.
"It sure is!" Emma chimed.

The headache was starting to bother Leah now. She recalled her own words - "something that has no end". Over the past few months, her and Emma's friendship was anything but unending. With things crashing between her and Arthur like an avalanche, Leah couldn't bear the fact that Emma still found it okay to be Arthur's good, very good, friend. Every time she saw Emma being close to the boy who'd hurt Leah so much, she started fuming. No matter how much she tried to recollect all her good memories with Emma in order to drown out the feeling of hatred she felt for her, she failed. Miserably. "Her friendship, her memories, they were all fake! Just fake! She's been playing it fake all along! She is nothing but a bitch!" she would tell herself, every time her heart started contradicting her decision of pushing Emma away from herself. "But," she would find herself thinking, "she has her own life. She can choose her own friends. Arthur has hurt me, not her. If she finds a good friend in him, who am I to expect her to stop talking to him? Plus, I've forgiven Arthur for everything. There's  no more hatred for him. I do miss him, yeah, as my best friend. I had always wanted him to be there in my life as a friend whom I cherished so much. I thought I had made myself pretty clear when I promised him that I've always wanted him to be there as a friend for me forever. But if he couldn't really take it, it's good we parted ways. Things wouldn't have been any better, anyway." And suddenly, Leah's mind would take a turn and she would find herself thinking, "But I broke myself away from Drew just for the sake of Emma. Because Emma wouldn't have loved it if I would've maintained my friendship with him. Now that she knew Drew liked me, it would be intolerable for my Em. How can Emma even think that I was the reason Drew put her through all this? The moment I realized that Drew was actually a bigger jerk than I thought was the moment when he told me he had loved me all along and that Emma was not even supposed to be in the picture. That was the day I had cried all night, dreading that this would end the friendship I shared with Emma. The next day, I had talked to Arthur about it and Arthur had straightaway told me to tell Emma the truth. "Are you sane, Arthur? You think I'd be able to tell her that without ruining what we have? Hell, no! I am not going to let anything hurt Emma. Yes, I will urge her to break up with that good for nothing jackass, but I won't tell her this. This will shatter her, Arthur. She won't be able to take it!" "But this is the truth, Leah. And Emma needs to face it. Maybe not now, but some day. You'll have to hurt her." Arthur had replied. "I'll tell her when she's over Drew. Not now. Please." she had said, turning away from him to hide her tears. Yet, Emma somewhere blamed her for everything that happened between Drew and her.She had always loved Emma. Her hard feelings had started erupting when Emma had started getting close to Arthur. Arthur wouldn't have enough messages left to talk to her because he'd been talking to Emma, and this would infuriate her. Almost everyone I talked to had told me Emma was wrong, but still I apologized because I knew the way I'd been harsh to her had hurt her. She had thought Emma would give up talking to him even at the slightest hint of knowing that she didn't like it, but Emma had ceased to do that. If she really considered me that good a friend, how couldn't she ever see through the smile I forced when she talked about her conversations with Arthur? She called herself dumb, but that doesn't make you insensitive, does it?" Leah was now holding her head in her hands as her head throbbed uncontrollably, filling her with unbearable pain. But her inner voices wouldn't stop.
"Emma has always wanted me to be happy. The happiness she felt when I told her about Neil was so evident in her smileys. If she longs for my happiness so much, how can I snatch away her happiness for my own selfish insecurities? Talking to Arthur, talking to Jordan makes her happy. Who am I to stop her?"
"But isn't it a bit strange that out of all the guys in the world, talking to those two makes her so happy? Why does she have to do all this? Throwing a party and inviting all of us together? She knows it'll only make me uncomfortable. She could've thrown a different party for the group and for her remaining friends. Is she doing all this only because she thinks I was the reason for things going so terribly wrong between her and Drew? Is she..." Leah gulped down a heavy bout of air before thinking the word that was constantly knocking on the doors of her mind, "...jealous?"
With this, she tried to stop the wave of thoughts that flowed in one after another.
"So what if it's Arthur, Jordan or any Tom, Dick and Harry with whom she talks? Why are they even making a difference to me when I'm so totally over what had happened between me and them? Why do I even have to care? There's Neil with me who keeps me so happy, so content. Emma has nobody like Neil to make her happy. So why do I have to crib so much if she tries to find happiness in little things like these? And why the hell do I keep forgetting the fact that I've forgiven Jordan and Arthur for everything? Then why am I being unjust to Emma by not forgiving her? And maybe, just maybe, I don't even have the right to actually 'forgive' her. Maybe whatever she did wasn't really that wrong as well. Maybe it wasn't wrong at all!"

Leah picked up the Mobius strip from her study table and absent-mindedly started tracing the edge with her finger. Her head felt very heavy now and it was aching more than ever, but she knew that this was going to be the last night for these thoughts. That she had to find answers to all her questions. That she'll have to decide. She thought about how many people had started hating Emma because of her. She wasn't feeling guilty about it, because she had never forced anyone to accept her decisions. Whenever she vented out her anger for Emma in front of her close friends, she just did it to lighten herself. She never meant to turn anyone away from Em. If they did that, it was their choice. Not an option Leah had given them. Her finger reached back to the point from where it had started. Leah stopped and stared at the strip. "Something that has no end," she recalled. The debate of her inner voices didn't have an end as well. She found herself standing at the same place from where she had started. "What am I supposed to do now?" she thought.

She went and stood in front of the mirror. The girl gazing back at her looked wary. Exhausted. Her large almond eyes seemed to have sunken in.
"What on earth have I done to myself?" she thought as she looked at the girl in the mirror.
"You've started hating people, Leah. And you waste too much energy on that." the girl in the mirror replied.
"Wasting energy hating people? Okay, I know you are my reflection. But you can't really talk shit at times like these!" Leah replied. The girl in the mirror smiled.
"You know what your problem is, Leah? You keep thinking about people who have hurt you, left you. You keep thinking about where things went wrong. Or what was your fault. Or whose fault it was exactly. If you conclude it was their fault, you start hating them. Then you think why they must've done this, or done that. You somehow don't seem to realize that it's none of your business. Why certain people do certain things is basically, funadamentally, completely, entirely and officially THEIR problem. Look at yourself. You've ruined your own heart and mind thinking all this crap. And does it affect them? No, it doesn't. Because they know how to let go off things and move ahead. Leah, you can't change what had happened in the past. But you sure can forget it. It is for fate to decide how they pay for whatever wrong they have done, if they've done any. If you destroy your peace of mind thinking about things that don't even matter today, you are simply ruining yourself."
Leah frowned. The last thing she wanted was the girl in the mirror telling her off.
"I am back to the same point where I started. It's like I'm going around a Mobius strip!"
"No, you're not. Think about it, Leah. A part of your heart, a big one indeed, knows what you need to do now."
"But..things can never be the same again. I did forgive Jordan, didn't I? And we do talk. But he isn't what he used to be. Arthur and I can never talk again. And Emma..."
"Do you hate Arthur even now, Leah? Then how can you be so unfair to Emma? Calling her names and hating her so much? Having this fake friendship with her? If you can't be friends with her, let her go! Don't bind her to yourself with a bond so fake."
"I can't..let her go."
"You've known that always, haven't you? That you can't simply walk past her ignoring her existence? That her memories still make you smile? That even if you keep telling yourself the entire day that everything was fake, your heart won't believe it? That all you want to do is hug her tight and say, "Forget the crap!"? That you wronged her by not being there when she needed you?"
"STOP!"
The girl in the mirror smiled again. She was having it her way. 'Her' way. Leah was thinking in the right direction now. And she could see it.
"I'm done with all the inner battles now. I'm going to follow my heart. I don't wanna hate anyone. Especially not the girl whom I have loved so much. Yes, things cannot be exactly as they were. But they can be better. They'll be better! I haven't picked up anything very special for her coming birthday. She's turning eighteen and this is going to be special for her. I want to gift her the Lillykins that she loved, someone who loved her Em. I'm done with all the hating business and all the poison inside me has washed out. Happy Birthday, Em. I love you." Leah smiled. Her head had stopped aching. She felt at peace. The girl in the mirror smiled as well. Leah kissed the strip and placed it back on the study table. That night, she slept. With a smile on her face.

Helpless

Emma clutched her head, as she sank on the couch. This was bad...

Bella was facing the same - and literally a to-the-point same - situation as Emma had. A little while back. Justin played Drew now.

What was it, Emma thought, that had gotten into his head? Why did he want to keep her, Bella, as just an option? He gave his reasons. Lame ones. Too lame to accept. Dont want you to be distracted... We can wait and see what happens... 'Yeah, because this is a game, isnt it?' Emma thought, cursing him. He said Bella hadnt done anything for him. That he had done enough, and now it was Bella's turn. What was Bella supposed to do? Get him his orders? Make him laugh? If he didnt find happiness in her talks itself, it was his fault, not Bella's. Bella had told him, and he damn well knew, that she wasnt a girl to get quite intimate. Bella couldnt even meet him, badly that she wanted to. Didnt he understand that every parent in the colony had the same mentality- the kids falling into relationships wasnt acceptible? Then there was the fact that Bella no longee lived in the colony. Was she supposed to travel for an hour, lie to her parents, just to please that lame exuse for a human??

And there was Bella too... She was so vulnerable... Emma knew she could be hurt. And real bad too. Emma didnt want that. She knew how bad it felt, how it changed the person completely. Bella was losing grip. She hadnt eaten for two days. And she cried and cried and cried... Emma's eyes stung too, and she clapped a hand to her right one. It throbbed in pain - her cousin had just poked her hard in there. She blinked. She had to make it go away...

Would Bella listen to Emma? Would she believe what Emma had told her? Would she understand? Emma thought of Rose. Rose knew. What had Rose told her? Emma knew Rose could face a situation. And she could persuade as well. She remembered how Rose had reacted when Bella had apologized to Justin. Despite everything, Emma knew Rose was a good friend. She too would hate it if Bella was hurt.

Emma didnt know what to do. She felt completely helpless, even more than she had done some months back, in January... On that wintry night... She pounded her head. She didnt know how, but she had to handle Bella.

Anything but bereavement...

Was it bereavement, Emma thought? No, it wasn't, she decided.

Another wave in her heart had hit the shore, and was now ebbying away. 'Vincent!' other people said in surprise, 'seriously?!' Emma knew better, though. Not always did people fall for looks. She hadn't. The fact that he had been so free in his talks, the fact that she couldn't just stop wishing to talk even more, was what mattered. Though, as Emma silently agreed, his was one hell of a radiant smile! Even she smiled as she recalled it, that photo of his that she had been (she laughed) circulating around.

Leah had been very positive on this. She was the one who suggested Emma do a bit of digging on Vincent, when she told her about it. Emma had been intrigued by the statuses he used to display. Almost all of them, without fail, had something to do with his love life. Did he have a crush on someone? Emma couldn't help hoping it was herself...

It was the day Leah had told Emma about Neil. Something caught on her spirits. It felt as though even she had got what she wished. It was involuntary, but she let it all out to Vincent that evening. It was time to put Leah's plan into action, to find out whom he was talking about.
'Go and tell her, if you feel it that bad!' Emma told him.
'Whom are you talking about?' he asked.
Emma shook her head disbelievingly. He could be so naive at times...
'That girl in your status!' she told him.
'Oh! Her! She already knows...'

A little jerk, some unknown feeling. And as Emma told Beth, at whose place she had been then, she collapsed into a fit of laughter. She made no delay in telling Arthur, Leah, Donna, Jordan and Arabella about it. Arthur did not hesitate, and told Emma off for rushing so much. 'This is not the time,' he said, 'you've got lots of time for that. Stop worrying about it now...' And it seemed to go on and on...! Arabella (or Bella, as she was known) was a bit sympathising on the chat. Then it was time, and Emma headed home.

On the way, her limbs tingled in an odd way. Something felt empty. Emma didn't know what.

When she got home, Leah's message popped up. She was laughing ceaselessly. Emma even sent her screenshots of the conversations. And she continued to laugh. Even Emma smiled a little. Jordan was a totally different case, he himself was in a different mood and carried Emma off in deep talks...

But then she went for a bath. And she didn't know what happened, or what hit her, but the next moment she was crying. Hard. She didn't know the reason. But she recalled every bad decision and event in her life. Ten whole minutes her tears poured silently down her cheeks while her insides screamed in agony. Someone else had got there before. Someone else had achieved the fate she had wanted. She didn't have her wish yet again.

Bella, the next day, agreed to Arthur's reaction, and said Emma should actually have waited more. She should have known Vincent better. She couldn't like him so much all of a sudden! Emma agreed. She'd been stupid.

But the very next day, Vincent's contact displayed a different photo. 'That's my girlfriend,' he said, when Emma asked him. 'You look cute together,' Emma told him. He smiled. And thanked her. They talked normally.

But before closing the chat, Emma took a screenshot of his contact photo. And she stared at it. There she was, the lucky one, who had the destiny Emma wished for. Emma smiled to herself. It wasn't her, Verity's, fault that Emma didn't get her wish. It was Verity's, and also Vincent's, fortune that they'd found each other and were happy. Was it bereavement, Emma thought, that she felt when she saw the picture? No, she answered herself. She did not, could not, and would not feel it. Vincent was a friend, and she couldn't ruin his life by thinking only about herself...

Dreaming With The Dead : Part-2

Fifteen minutes in the graveyard. Boon or bane, Emma thought.

A soft bound and she was across the open drain separating the road and the jungle. The temperature  - did it actually drop so suddenly or was it just Emma's feeling? She stared at the gate ahead. The wrought-iron half-gate, three feet above the ground, must have been a handsome black some day. Now the paint peeled off from where it had managed to stay stuck through the years. The hinges were all rusted, and it seemed the gate would crumple to dust if anyone as much as even touched it.

Eyes fixed on the gate, Emma took a step forward. And she stumbled. Slight disturbances over her shoulder that Leah had made a move towards her. As Emma steadied herself, she smiled. "Always the elder one," she muttered to herself. She glanced down at what had made her trip. Not an inch of ground could be seen. It was all overgrown with grass, covered with dead leaves and had creepers running all over. "Just my type of thrill," she mumbled, even as she felt an involuntary shudder.

She pushed the gate open with one hand. And the next second, she regretted her action. The gate creaked loudly, swung a little and the hinges gave away. Emma rushed to catch it mid-way of its fall, and placed it lightly on the ground along the boundary wall. "I never touched it," she mumbled. She took a deep, long breath and stepped forward. She looked above her head and stifled back a scream. Had she seen a glimpse of a pair of monstrous eyes and a mouth? A second step ahead told her she was wrong. "Holy crow..." she breathed. The banyan trees flanking the gate looked remarkably monstrous, with a hollow in place of a mouth and rare slits of sunlight as eyes. The dangling roots made them look like Medusa. "Nice placing," Emma thought, and walked on.

Another fifty meters of walk took her well inside the forest - or so she thought. Her friends' voices were now sounding muffled. Maybe because of the thick trees. Or maybe because of the air, so thick with eerie silence you could slice it with a knife. It all may have seemed quite uninviting to others, but to Emma, it was nothing short of mesmerizing. Her brother Adrian had been inside many times, and she envied him on that. There was no denying that it all gave Emma the creeps like hell - the trees, the creepers, the graves and light mist with a strangely familiar smell - but she enjoyed it all.

At least she thought she did...

There was a great many variety of trees in the jungle and it was almost impossible to decipher which was which unless you had a close enough look - there was hardly any light in there. At rare spots the sunlight fought its way through the thick canopy and hit the ground like sparkling gold.

And it was in one of these rare golden spots that Emma saw it.

It was silver and gold, with a sharp edge, glinting mysteriously in the sunlight. Emma picked it up, but hardly had the time to register its beauty when something caught her across the ankles and she fell face-down on the moss-and-creeper-strewn ground.

After what seemed like a long time, or maybe no time at all, Emma flicked open her eyes. The smell of moss filled her nose, and she took a deep breath. It was the sweetest perfume. She got to her feet and looked around. Suddenly, there was a rustle nearby, like footsteps on the carpeted ground. Emma's heart raced. She gulped hard and stared, trying to look through the darkness. Her brain urged her to turn around and run as fast as her legs could carry her, but her heart whispered, "Stay." The next second she heard a voice, so familiar and welcome as ever : "Emma!" Leah called out. Emma heaved a sigh of relief. "You disappoint me, dead-men!" she thought, as a wide grin spread across her face. "Emma!" Leah's voice wafted through the trees. "Em....ow! Oh, this scarf!" Emma shook her head. The scarf had probably troubled Leah more than Emma had. She trotted off towards Leah.

"You know, I sometimes have a point when I tell you to tie the scarf like before," Emma called out as she approached Leah. Leah looked up from the branch at which she'd been tugging and cried, "Em! Where were you? I've been looking for you all over! Oh, thank God you're safe...."
"Nah, a dead man over there just invited me for a cuppa, I'm going, see ya!" Emma chucked, "And snap the twig, Einstein," she added, breaking Leah's scarf free from the tree, a twig dangling from it.

"So, what made you come and look for me?" Emma asked, launching into a conversation like it was a evening stroll in the park. "Your fifteen minutes are up," Leah informed, "and I was worried," she confessed. Emma shook her head. "Always the elder one," she said, and smiled. Leah returned it, and her wandering glances fell on the object in Emma's hand - silver ad gold, glinting in spite of the darkness. "What's that, Em?" Leah asked.

Emma looked more closely. It was a locket - gold and silver on a gold chain. It was oddly shaped, it didn't look like a holy cross. Something else glittered across the shorter arms. Emma rushed to the patch of sunlight in front of her and held it up to look closely. "It's a sword," she breathed. It was a beautiful piece of work - the handle and the hilt were pure gold, and the blade was a gleaming spotless silver. Across the hilt, embedded in the gold, gleamed little round stones. Emma couldn't believe her eyes. Could it be........
"Moonstones, yes," Leah answered her thoughts. "That's worth a fortune, that locket. Pure gold chain, silver, moonstones and all.." But Emma wasn't listening. Something pulled her back into memories - memories unknown to her, where she was just a stranger. But it was all familiar too. She heard a distant voice in her head, exclaiming, "Moonstones, Lewis? Oh, shouldn't have..." And then another voice said, "Shh...!"

It hit Emma hard on the heart like an electric shock. A pang of horror and a deep feeling of loss engulfed her, and she found herself being tortured by a distant scream, a voice so troubled, so familiar...

"Em?!" Leah cried, shaking Emma by the shoulders. Emma came to her senses. Gone was the scream, the voices, the horror.
"You fine?" Leah asked, her voice heavy with concern.
"Yeah..yeah.." Emma lied. She knew convincing Leah wasn't so easy. But Leah asked no further questions.

They walked on, deeper into the forest. The trees now got thicker, the graves more ancient. It was hard to make out the names on them.
"Shouldn't we go back now, Em?" Leah asked, and she clearly wasn't as fond of the atmosphere as Emma.
"Hang on, Li," Emma replied.

They walked further, Emma leading, the sword locket clutched in her hand. Maybe it was some sort of talisman that made her forget what it felt like to be afraid when she was in the midst of darkness and dead. Emma saw Leah flinch at the slightest rustle, and a swooping bird once made her jump right on top of Emma. Emma's head was blank, unknown to all the creepy feelings Leah was having. This place... it was more than just a graveyard. Something within her told her that this place, this path that she followed so involuntarily, held many answers. To what questions, Emma did not know.

They soon lost track of time and position, as they kept walking deeper and deeper into the forest. Leah now winced at every other step. But Emma thought otherwise. The green forest floor, towering canopy, the breath of forest in the air, the little beams of golden sunshine - why, there was nowhere as beautiful! Although she was far from home, and this place was far from welcoming, she could feel a warmth around. Like she was getting closer and closer to a goal. And after that she'd be able to relax.. Her job would be done.. She'd be at peace.. Rest in peace.. RIP, as the headstones around her said..

"What was that?" Leah breathed. Emma turned around to face her.

Leah had stopped dead in her tracks. Her eyes wide with terror, she looked around to her left. Slowly, very carefully, she turned her head.
"What was it, Li?" Emma asked.
She strained her ears for some sound. None came.
"Something moved. There...over there..." Leah said, pointing at a nearby clump of trees.
"What was there, Li?" Emma asked, "Did you see it?"
"I...I saw something glint...I thought it was the sunlight...but it was all silver...and solid...and...and then...there was this axe..."
"Axe?!"
"Yeah...like hanging in mid-air or something...but then...then..."
"Then what?"
"I heard this...this swish...like a cloak...you know..."
"Cloak? Axe?"
Emma rushed to the clump of trees. There was nothing there. No axe. No cloak. Not the slightest sign of footsteps. She walked back to Leah, who looked petrified.
 "There's nothing there, Li," she said, grabbing Leah's shoulders, and smiled. Leah couldn't return it this time.
"No, Em! I saw it! I'm sure I saw it! It was..."
"No one could have been there, Li...!" Emma interrupted, "there's not the slightest place to hide back there!"
"I don't know...Oh, Em! I don't like it here...This is...this is BAD!"

Emma felt a stab of disappointment, like someone had insulted her very house.

"It's not bad, Li...This place isn't bad..."

Leah stared back at Emma. Colour drained from her face.
"We're in the middle of a graveyard, Em. There's no one alive, not even half-alive, around us now! I don't understand why..."
 "There IS something about this place!" Emma said, her voice now lined with the plea of understanding, "there's something in here - I don't know what - but it's gonna open many secrets!"

She began to pace backward, looking around her. "Look here, Li! It's all green...so peaceful...so quiet...It's all so calm, secluded, like I've always wanted! What could possibly go wrong in such a place?! It's all so..."
She tripped. And she fell flat on her back. She sat up and looked around to see what had obstructed her path...

A body. And a pool of blood.

It was a girl's. She wasn't more than a year or two elder to Emma or Leah. Her body was oddly twisted, like someone had broken her pelvic joint. Emma's gaze travelled up the body, and another awful sight awaited her.

Where there should have been a neck, were pieces of flesh, like minced meat. The blood was still trickling out, and it engulfed the shoulders, and the head lay in a gleaming scarlet puddle.

Dreaming With The Dead : Part-1

The thick growth of trees blocked away most of the sunlight, and all you could see ahead was leaves, branches and more leaves. Creepers wound themselves on any surface they found; you couldn't dare to stand there for long in the fear that you too would be engulfed. Out of the ground rose shrubs and graves, alike if you saw abundance. A thick carpet of moss spread over the forest floor and on the graves, obscuring the names. Some headstones were cracked, as if gnawed at by the remnants of the graves beneath.
And through the eerie mist and silence pierced the high-pitch laughter of a group of friends walking past the graveyard, oblivious of the atmosphere within.

"Oh, everyone knows you're lying!" said Penny, still chuckling over the 'truth' answer Natalie had given.
"Oh, come on!" exclaimed Natalie, as usual her voice sing-song and accented, and flicked her hair out of her face.
"OA!" Hannah exclaimed, "Over-Acting!!!" and began laughing. Everyone followed, shouting, "OA!" as Natalie shook her head. They walked on.

With their major test over, Emma & Leah had got together with their bunch of friends - Beth, Donna, Amy, Hannah, Penny and Natalie - and planned a trip of their colony. As they were walking, Leah had struck upon the idea of playing "truth or dare" - a new application on Emma's phone that she'd taken from her cousin. After an interesting and 'untruthful' round of the game with Natalie on the answering side, it was time for another round. Emma tapped on the 'play' button and, after a whiff of tense air, witnessed the popping up of a familiar name on her screen:
"Emma, it's your turn."

Emma held up her phone for others to see.

"Hmmmmm," said Donna and Beth in their usual smirky way.

"Woohoo!" Natalie exclaimed and started clapping.

Leah raised an eyebrow at her and then looked at Emma, "Go on, choose something!"

Emma held her finger on top of the screen and did a quick inky-pinky-ponky in her head.

"yep, my pinky wants a DARE," she thought to herself, stopping at the top of the option in gleaming red letters - "DARE". She tapped on it and Penny announced, "She's chosen DARE!" There was another round of 'hmmmmm's and 'woohoo's followed by claps and then the task popped up on the screen:
"Spend at least fifteen minutes in the nearest dangerous place."
Emma stared at the task for what seemed like ages and as soon as she comprehended the exact meaning of the gleaming red words on the screen, she gulped hard.
"You bloody traitor! How I wish I could throw you away somewhere!" she muttered at the phone.
Leah snatched the phone from Emma's hands and read the task aloud.
"And that means..." Penny whispered in a dramatic way.
"The Graveyard," Hannah thought aloud.
There was a familiar sound of hands clasping to the mouth and everyone turned to look at Natalie. Except Leah. She was looking at Emma with an immensely intense expression. Emma looked back at her and nodded.
"I'm in."
"You sure?" Leah asked, now with an air of a concerned elder sister about her.
"Yep!" Emma said, a bit excited about the task. Heads turned back to her.
"Go on, baby! Give us some thrill!" Hannah said, thumping Emma on her back.
"So guys, I'm gonna go in and spend an amazing fifteen minutes with the dashing dead. Watch me!" Emma said, now making cool and funny hand gestures. Leah couldn't help noticing the slight tremble in Emma's voice. But this is what Emma had wanted all along. Ever since her brother, Adrian, had told her about his visits to the graveyard, she had wanted to get in there, probably shake hands with a dead man or shake a leg with two. There was a short walk, which Emma covered in a couple of steps, that would land her right in front of the gate of the graveyard. She turned around to see all her friends giving her a "thumbs-up", and Leah's face a bit contorted.

Emma turned around to face the gate of the creepy graveyard. It was the most uninviting gate Emma had ever seen in her seventeen years of 'life' (if it could be called that). Slowly, she moved towards the graveyard, all set for the adventure that awaited her inside. Leah saw the perfect figure of her best friend climbing the gutter-barrier, crossing it and moving towards the gate. Emma stumbled a bit and Leah instinctively took a step forward. But Emma regained balance and so Leah backed off.

Emma slowly caught hold of the rusted iron handle of the gate and gave it a slight push. It was as if she had awoken the gate-ghost which shook violently with a loud, creaking noise. Emma was sure that if the gate fell off, it would make a noise loud enough to awaken the dead. So carefully, she caught hold of the gate and placed it aside.
"I never touched it," she mumbled. She dusted off her hands and stood in front of the entry, looking uo at the tall, dark figures of the banyan trees with their roots dangling from all sides in an oddly creepy manner. They looked like large, black replicas of Medusa. Emma felt a chill run down her spine. At that precise moment, she was suddenly haunted by the urge to turn around and run away from the terrible place. But, she didn't budge. She wasn't sure why she couldn't back off - either it was her strong determination, the fact that she'd been waiting for this all the while; or it was simply because she was having cold feet. Literally.

Leah watched Emma standing in front of the gate for four whole minutes and then she saw her stepping in. Emma's first two steps were uncertain but she took her next steps quickly. Leah knew how much Emma had wanted to go in. She silently prayed as she watched Emma's figure getting smaller and smaller with every passing second and finally, she disappeared in the shadows. Emma was gone.
 

Alone...

Alone. That word described Emma's feelings best.

What was it, she thought, that no one had struck up on a long conversation with her for so long? Her regular chat friends now having vanished, did she have absolutely no one to have a word with? True, she talked to her family. But her friends? The past two years had made them an indispensable part of her life. It was different, having a friend-to-friend chat, exchanging recent news, keep blabbering on and on over the most trivial topics... Did her absence from messaging groups cut her off from her friends completely? If this were the case, she was in for a long, lonely time...

She thought of Leah. But then decided otherwise. Thinking of her hurt.

Emma didn't know when Leah kept free. She was a busy girl, after all. And more often than not, their phonecalls ended early. A bit too early for Emma's liking. The very last thing she'd ever wanted to happen was stay cut off from Leah, and her worst fears were coming true.

There were things happening in the world, and Emma knew she couldn't be sure of even half of them. But there was one thing to be sure of-- She was missing her friens hard as stomachache...

Dear Li,
What's happening with me...??!

Why don't people see what I've been through? Li, people are prepared to hear his side of the story, not mine. For once, I don't want to broadcast it. And they want me to talk it out, clear everything... What's left, to be cleared?

Peter says he looked down, whenever they met. I don't know about him, Li. But I'm trying to get over that trauma. And talking to him won't help. If he's actually feeling down, I'll consider it good cuz I awakened a real person in him. But I can't let that one person thrive on me, my mum and dad... Li, help me strenghthen myself... Help me save my own heart and theirs too...

I just wish people would understand that hidden tears don't mean zero fears...!

Love,
Emma

A Half Truth, A Whole Lie...

Emma stared blankly into space, as she felt all feeling drained from her.
Her mother was right: Ernie knew about Drew, he knew what happened, what he'd done, how she'd felt. But ought he to? She, Emma, thought this in the long term. And your partner have knowledge of your ex? No, that was not tolerable. It could explode out of him sometime int the future. And Emma would regret it then.
Emma put her head in her hands, knowing nothing but exhaustion. What would life had been, she thought, had Ernie not known... Why did she have to blab it all out to him? Th life she'd lost, owing to that conversation, seemed like a mortal wound...
But the stuff he'd said in front of her mother...
Beneath her fingers, her eyes flew open. Rage, fury rose within her like acid. He believed the stuff people told him. What had happened at Drew's place, Emma had told him. Yet, he chose to speak, if not believe, the worst. The lies. And how come people knew about the video? What all had he been thinking? Hearing? What was Emma's image in his head...?
Emma punched her pillow to a more comfortable shape. Through the gloom, she silently agreed with Arthur: Relationships were indeed C.R.A.P.

Emma stood beneath the shower, wishing it could wash away everything...
She'd finally gulped down the fact that with such an ability to invent lies and rumors, about his own girlfriend, Ernie didn't deserve her. But there was another severe blow - she'd lost Adrian as well.
Leah had been right, boys couldn't be trusted. Why didn't he understand that when Emma said he was her brother, she always meant it, from all her heart? It was probably the highest, most wonderful place Emma could ever put someone into. Both Adrian and Ernie - Emma gave them such high positions. And they, whatever else they might have done, abused it.
Emma wasn't sure if she could do it again. They'd snuffed out her belief, her trust, her passion from all those wonderful relationships - a friend, a brother, a partner... She felt irrationally empty, hollow from within, that with one simple act, they'd moved so far from her. She saw them, and had floods of memories. She missed, not them, but the people she'd thought them to be...
She couldn't think of hunting them down. But she couldn't love them either. She could pray that somewhere, someday, even they'd find someone they could put their heart into.

As Emma scavenged the racks at the supermarket for more biscuits, her phone beeped, showing a new message. She opened it, and saw:
Yvaine: Emma... U r ok na? I knw u r nt :/ Bt still, hw r u nw?
Emma sighed.
Just two days back, Donna had told her another "Ernie-fact". If Emma was truthful to herself, she wanted to hear them all the very less. But somehow, knowing them, and pitying at the person Ernie had become, was oddly satisfying. Ernie had been the one who'd been posting anonymous confessions of love to Margaret. It had rather been a topic of interest as far as Emma knew (not being a part of the page, she couldn't be sure). "Yvaine is the admin of that page," Donna had said, "and she told me to inform you. He's cheating on you."
That time Emma had a sudden recollection of a talk with Leah. She had told Emma that Ernie had proposed to another girl while he was supposed to be in a relationship with Emma. She'd refused to name her. Had it been Margaret?
How many other hearts had that devil trod upon? Or had Margaret been sensible enough not to take him seriously? Emma wondered if this was the cause of her suffering: Her naive, childish mind. Her habit of listening to her heart. Her belief that there was indeed some magic that set things right in the end...
And as she looked down at Yvaine's message, she wondered how many other people knew about it. Had Ernie spread the word? Or had people simply deduced as they'd seen him walking and talking with Emma? And those who knew, would they sympathize with Emma, knowing how badly she'd been hurt? Or would they say she'd been stupid? Or, Emma's stomach clenched at the thought, had people heard Ernie's version about her going to meet Drew ad taken her that way?
It doesn't matter, Emma told herself firmly. This was a lone battle, and people could comfort her, stand by her, but they couldn't possibly fight in her place. Yvaine was right, Ernie was a freak. And it gave Emma slight hope, believing Yvaine's words that heartbreaks were indeed good, that they indeed brought you one step closer to the one you're actually meant to be with, and Emma did indeed deserve someone much better...

Why was it, Emma asked herself, that everything felt so constricting?
It was like being wrapped in a cocoon - of memories. She wanted to get out. Because suffocating in them could lead her nowhere. She wanted to have a free life. Without worries, without resentment, without painful recollections. She wanted the life she had had before 8th December 2010 ever happened.
But she could just keep wishing...
Even the weather seemed to mock her. She'd spent two summers entirely to Drew's name. She'd spent those days hoping for him to be alright. For him to be free. Without a care for her own self. And as she breathed in the warm evening air, looked at the darkness outside, those strange squirmy feelings she'd had back then hit her like hailstones. She couldn't scream, she couldn't screen herself from them.
How much more did she have to bear? How many more blows could she possibly take on her trust? Drew - whom she'd devoted herself to and forgotten EVERYTHING else. Ernie - all those wonderful feelings of love and trust he'd FAKED in front of her. Adrian - who did so much for her, but never shared how strongly he felt for her. Were there more of them? Was her future going to be like the present was - warm and lit, yet cold, dark, dank, unkempt...?
Then she thought of Leah. She'd been with her so long. She wouldn't have, surely...
...But what had she told Emma's mother? There aren't nice talks about Emma around, Aunty... Did that mean she believed them> And where from had she heard them? She thought about that video clip and her insides squirmed. Penny knew. Possibly even Natalie. And what was it that Leah had heard? Sick thoughts swam in front of Emma's eyes... What all they must have talked about, when they were alone when Emma wasn't with them... She tried to push them all out. She couldn't let her brain rot, too.
Trembling with doubts, afraid of being left alone, she did the best she could at the moment - she picked up her phone and texted Leah:
"Leah... You won't leave me, will you?"
She fought back the wetness in her eyes. She had to be strong. Ready to face the worst. Ready to face anything coming at her. But surely not this...?!
A second or two passed. Then Emma's phone vibrated violently - Leah's call. Emma answered it.
"Hello?"
"Hello, Em?"
"Hello, hey Li?! What's up?"
"Hey, Em, listen - "
"Yeah - "
"Swear on my life and tell me - "
"Yeah, what's going on - "
"Em, did Arthur just propose you...??"
And as she dropped on the couch literally howling with laughter, Emma realized that there was a future, indeed...

"But what's my mistake? Please, Em!"
Emma felt a corrosive hatred towards that phrase now. "Please", indeed. There was nothing 'pleasing' at all about the time, or situation in which it had been asked.
So he didn't know WHY Emma didn't talk to him? That was weird. Because Emma could tick of his doings on her fingers right on his face. Problem was, words got stuck in her throat.
First was the one reason she couldn't ignore even if she wanted to - he knew about Drew. Her mom was right, it could create problems in the future. Maybe they'd ignore at first, but when they had responsibilities on them, you couldn't tell what would backfire when. Her mom had said she'd have made done with everything but this. This was the biggest glitch.
But was it?
There was the fact about the video. Only Ernie, Adrian, Roger and Emma were supposed to know about it. Emma hadn't even told Leah. And Penny knew. PENNY?! There had to be a leak somewhere. Whom all had Ernie been telling? And what all had he been telling?
And the worst of all was Leah's information - that he'd proposed another girl while they were in a relationship. That fact tore at her very heart. Because she had been thinking he wasn't like Drew. And she'd been thwarted. Again.
And what about the stuff he'd told her mother? "The way she'd left Drew's place, Aunty...! She was so messed up! And Drew's been telling people about the fun he had that day...!" Messed up was she? She'd love to show him what messed up meant. She's love to show Adrian how much it "pained" too. She'd smack the two of them to death. Only she wasn't in a state to do so.
The hatred, the anger bubbled within Emma like acid. She was corroding, turning to dust from within, and there was nothing she could do about it. She felt like she was dying... Already dead, perhaps... And the odds of reviving her hovered near about nil...

Emma smiled. She knew some things would never change.
It was her foolishness, maybe, or perhaps a habit, or simply because her heart was that way, but she forgave people in the ed. Always. Even if she didn't resume the bond they used to have.
She'd forgiven Ricky for saying all that stuff about them behind their backs. She'd forgiven Drew. And Adrian. And Ernie (though she did pity the three of them with all hr heart). And - she wasn't sure if you could call it forgiving - but she'd disregarded all those times Derek had promised to meet and hadn't turned up, and still regarded him a brother at heart. Anson Roy was a different case, as he sprang up an argument every time they faced each other, and had been careful enough to criticize her always. That was competition, arrogance and pig-headedness, as Emma called it.
There was nothing wrong in believing someone to be your brother at heart. Their contact - Emma and Derek's - had been absolutely zero ever since he had left for college. She hadn't found him on Facebook, either (though she'd love to, after her exams). The girls, Ricky and an old 'friend', Diana, were the same as ever (she couldn't be sure about Diana, they'd never met after their quarrel) - just typical of girls: Don't talk. Don't consider. Don't even look.
She forgave, but didn't forget...!
Nothing could make her have Drew, Adrian or Ernie back now. How much ever they tried, she wouldn't let them. She had her mother backing her up. What was wrong, she thought, in relieving the mind of all trouble it had caused and living a happy life, keeping the cause of troubles at bay? She thought of Peter. Except for a couple of instances, none of them had recalled 8th December 2009 again. They'd been chatting freely. They talked freely. Emma guessed it was because he'd apologized then and there, and had never let that matter crop up again.
She wouldn't give in to emotional blackmail. She'd experienced enough not to let that happen again. There might be some light in the dank future, she thought, but she'd have learnt enough by then to decide if it was truly light or just luster. She looked down at her phone, at the highly sentimental ('mental',actually, Emma thought) version of his state Ernie had sent. She'd reply to him when hell froze over, and maybe not even then.
This was a lesson learnt, and tacked to her heart forever more...

See If You Can Hide it...

"I've had enough, you know," Leah said. "What makes me think I could have married him? Who wants to get married?!"

Emma smiled. Yeah, really. Leah could try her best. No success with Emma, though!

After the breakup with Arthur she'd been devastated. Emma knew it as well as Leah did. Whom was she kidding? Couldn't Emma figure out what she felt...? She could feel how Leah felt. And Leah wasn't one who could change like so. She was one of the strongest and stubbornest persons Emma had ever met.

No. Try as she may, Leah couldn't snuff out the love she had. They were writers, after all. And writers were born to love...!

She Fakes It All!

"God save me from love!" Leah exclaimed. She was talking to Yvaine, who was in an oh-my-God-we-are-so-much-in-love sort of a relationship with Anson. Leah had cracked a hell of a joke and Yvaine just seemed to BLUSH at it. That was more than enough to make Leah roll her eyes in an I-don't-want-to-live-on-this-planet-anymore way.
"You don't understand," Yvaine said, still blushing.
Yeah, right. I don't understand. Leah thought.
"Maybe I'm just too good at pretending," Leah said, in her usual matter-of-fact way.
Again, Yvaine turned a bright pink. She just seemed to blush at EVERYTHING! Leah swore a tomato would feel insecure in Yvaine's presence. Yes, she was too much in love. Too much.
And so Yvaine went on and on about how Anson would turn up late for their meetings, get down at wrong stations because he's so lost in talking to his sweetheart, wouldn't wake up until Yvaine called him forty-seven times and so on.
"You never fire him, do you?" Leah asked.
"Never! Neither does he!" Yvaine replied, obviously blushing.
"That's kinda cute," Leah said, with a pretty fake smile.
Yvaine wasn't much of a 'friend'. But Leah didn't really hate her. Only sometimes Yvaine was too annoying. Especially when she talked about Anson - which was ALL THE TIME! So, to sum it up, Yvaine was annoying all the time!
"Well, I do fire him, when he doesn't take his medicines," Yvaine said.
"For God's sake go and see a doctor on the face of this earth!" Arthur's words suddenly boomed in Leah's head. That's how he would react if she wasn't feeling well, yet would refuse to see a doctor.
"Doctors annoy me, Arthur, and I hate medicines," she'd say.
"You are never going to listen to me, are you?" he'd ask, furiously.
"No!" she'd say, winking. And then Leah would spend the next two hours pacifying him. Arthur wasn't the sort of a person who got angry too often. But when he did, it was equal to thousand hells breaking loose at the same time. And for the cherry on top, Leah was the only girl who succeeded in angering him.
"You seem lost," Yvaine said, disturbing Leah's wave of thoughts.
"Oh! Umm no, nothing!" Leah said, forcing another smile.
Yvaine didn't pester her anymore. She went back to narrating other koo-chi-koo incidences while Leah submerged herself in her own thoughts.
Leah somehow seemed to hate Yvaine for being so happy in a relationship. She hated herself even more for that. Leah knew she wasn't the sort of a person who would end up in despair just because she's jealous of someone who's in a healthy relationship. But in the end, she had to accept the bitter truth. Why does Yvaine seem like an annoying person while all she does is share moments of her heavenly relationship with me? Shouldn't I be happy? Leah often found herself dwelling on these thoughts. But she never found an answer. Or maybe she did, but wasn't ready to accept it.
For the world, for her friends, Leah was a girl who had turned away from the name of 'relationships'. Someone who dreamed about her future, a bright career instead of romance, the first kiss. It was true, Leah WANTED to be an ambitious girl. A self-centered strong woman who focused more on her family, her dreams. But that really wasn't Leah Kent.
When she had fallen for Arthur, she had never expected him to love her back. But when it happened, when they did land up in a relationship, she hadn't expected him to fall out. Not in one month, at least.
"Three months! Can you believe it?" Yvaine chirped.
"Congratulations" was all Leah could utter.
Two months since the breakup, Leah reminded herself. Things were pretty normal on Arthur's side. Things seemed to be normal with Leah, too. The 'seemed' made a lot of difference.
The relationship meant a lot to Leah. It was a sign that Arthur loved her. The day he told her he loved her was the day Leah felt she owned the world. It was her everything, the reason she smiled all the time. The reason she never had to fake being happy. The reason things just seemed perfect! And when it was gone, Leah felt hollow. Like it was all an illusion, like it was just a dream, like it never happened. It wasn't meant to last, anyway. 'Cause it was too good to be true, she told herself.
"Life is all about loving yourself, Becky. A person who can't love himself can't love anyone else truly," she told Rebecca. And that's why I love him so selflessly, she thought.
Leah was trying very hard to keep herself from falling. Every smile she faked was like a dagger that went through her heart. Every laughter was a sign that she'd mustered all her strength to gulp down those tears which were on the verge of escaping her large eyes. "I hate relationships!" She'd say, while she just wanted to cry out to Arthur and plead him to come back. "Leah Kent is a strong girl." Indeed, she thought, a rather fake one.

A Little More Than Love

Under a dim table lamp, Leah sat with her head buried in books. They were to have a test the next day and Leah knew she'd be screwed if she flunked this one. Apart from the creaking noise of the old fan and Hannah's light snores, there was no sound in the room. The silence was suddenly disturbed by a buzzing noise. Leah picked up her phone. The screen displayed "Arthur Calling".

"Hey!" Leah said, a sudden smile spreading across her tired face.

"Studying?" Arthur asked.

"Do I have any other option?"

"I'm getting really bored."

"Same here!"

"Mind coming down for a walk?"

"Now?!"

Leah picked up her table clock and brought it under the lamp. It was 3 AM.

"It's okay if you can't make it. I was just.." 

"See you near the lamp-post in 5 minutes!" Leah chirped and hung up.

She still had the smile on her face as she hastily brushed her hair and plaited it into a clumsy pigtail. She grabbed her phone and the room keys and shoved them in her pocket. She silently closed the door behind her and climbed down the stairs to the entrance. She slowed down as she reached the hallway and tiptoed till she reached the main entrance. She hid behind a pillar while she searched for signs of the watchman. She heaved a heavy sigh of relief when she heard deep snores coming from the watchman's cabin. She quietly made her way to the gate and her face lit up when she saw him.

Arthur stood leaning on the lamp-post with a tiny smile on his face. He gave a brief nod when he saw Leah and Leah answered this with a vigorous waving palm and an energetic "Hey!" 

"Hush! You'll wake up the watchman!" Arthur whispered.

"Oops! Let's get out of here," Leah whispered back.

Quietly, they moved away from the hostel gate and started walking down the road. They followed the same path they took while on their evening walks. Leah loved walking, and so did Arthur. That was one thing they had in common. Leah often thought about their differences and she marveled at the fact that two people who are sharply different can be so close and never fail to understand each other. "I can actually draw a 'differentiate between Leah Kent and Arthur Black' table with at least fifty points!" Hannah used to say, whenever Leah talked about her friendship with Arthur.
"Done studying?" Arthur asked, breaking the weird silence that had crept up between them.
"You think?" Leah replied, raising an eyebrow at him.
"So, what's the plan?"
"I'll have to stay up the whole night, I guess. What about you?"
"I'll doze off. Nothing can stop me from sleeping!"
Leah shook her head and gave out a little laugh. Arthur's laziness didn't anger her anymore. Rather, she found it amusing. This guy walking next to her claimed that Leah was the only friend he had who was so close to him. And this was the same guy who had also forgotten her birthday once.
The path they had taken was a lonely one. It seemed to be passing through a wilderness. It wasn't haunted by wild animals, so it wasn't really a forest. But the tall, old trees, rusted signboards and dried leaves on the path somehow made Leah wonder if this was the same road Robert Frost had taken.
As they walked ahead, Leah shivered. It was getting cold and she realized that she had forgotten her sweatshirt. But it seems somebody was aware of her thoughts.
"Phew! It's getting hot in here, right?" Arthur suddenly exclaimed.
"Huh? It's so cold! Are you nuts?" Leah said, looking at Arthur with question marks flooding her large eyes.
"I ain't feeling cold. Here, have my sweatshirt," Arthur said, taking off his sweatshirt and handing it over to Leah.
"You sure you aren't feeling cold?" Leah asked. She still had her hands in the pocket of her pajamas and her movements didn't show she was going to grab that sweatshirt from him. Arthur looked at her and shook his head. He hastily put the sweatshirt around her and ordered her to wear it.
"You don't have to pretend like a heroine, seriously!" Arthur said with an I-know-what's-best expression.
"Look who's talking," Leah murmured, now pushing her hands through the long sleeves of the sweatshirt. The next breath she took was filled with a fresh scent. The sweatshirt had Arthur's scent on it and Leah suddenly found herself in an enchanted world. She was so lost in her fantasy world that she tripped over a pebble in her way. Arthur reflexively caught her by her shoulders and steadied her.
"Are you high?" he asked, as he hastily pulled his hands back.
"Come on, Arthur! You know how it is for me.." Leah trailed off.
"Yeah, yeah, I know. You and your accident-prone nature! But please, next time you are with me, try not to fall. Your sweet little Hannah won't leave me in a single piece if she finds out you fell while you were with me." Arthur said, with a voice punctuated with fake horror.
"Hahaha! Don't worry. She doesn't know I'm with you. She was sleeping when I came out." Leah replied, laughing. Arthur let out a sigh - another fake gesture.
"Well, in that case, there are many pebbles ahead. You can fall as many times as you want to. I'll enjoy a good laugh watching you do so," Arthur said, winking at Leah.
"You'll let me fall?!" Leah said, looking at him with narrow eyes.
"You think?" Arthur replied, without looking at her.
There was a silence. Leah lowered her eyes and started counting her steps. After counting fifteen, she got bored. So she decided to do something else. She tried to synchronize her steps with Arthur's. But she didn't realize that her attempts were so clumsy that Arthur couldn't help noticing.
"What exactly are you trying to do?" Arthur asked, looking at Leah who appeared to be dancing.
"Me? Uh..I'm just..well..your steps.." Leah uttered. She was so engrossed in her 'job' that she didn't bother to look up at Arthur whose face was now bearing a my-best-friend-is-on-a-heavy-dose-of-prozac expression. He stopped walking and asked again, "What are you up to, Leah?"
Leah halted. Now that Arthur wasn't walking, her 'job' was over.
"Me? Nothing! I was just trying to synchronize my steps with yours!" Leah said, sounding so embarrassed that she could actually feel the blood rushing to her cheeks.
Arthur looked at her with eyes that were yelling 'Go Kill Yourself' and then, he started laughing.
"You are impossible!" He exclaimed, still laughing.
"Yeah, well, I know that!" Leah said, now a grin spreading across her face.
They walked the rest of the path talking about random things. When Arthur would pass a stupid comment, Leah would just throw him a dirty look and then would start laughing at his idiocy. Arthur, on the other hand, wouldn't mind faking a laugh on the lamest jokes Leah cracked. Well, sometimes he did mind. Those would be the times when Leah would say, "Haw! That joke wasn't so bad!" and he would reply, "Trust me, it was." And they both would laugh on that. Sometimes, Leah would just stare at him with a smile on her face while he talked, and would quickly look down when he noticed. He was the same Arthur she'd fallen for two years back. Yet everyday she found herself falling in love with him all over again. He had the same smile, but each time it fascinated Leah in a different way. She still got butterflies every time she saw him, and even now his slightest touch took her to a different world. Yes, Leah was basically fundamentally completely entirely and officially in love with Arthur Black.
Leah knew she couldn't have him for herself. She knew they would probably never be more than "best friends". Not that she cared, anyway! She wanted Arthur by her side, and he was there. That was enough for her to last a lifetime. She didn't want Arthur to "love" her back. Because deep inside, she knew what they have is a little MORE than love...
They had reached the lamp-post. Leah became aware of the deep snores still emerging from the watchman's cabin.
"Bye! All the best for tomorrow!" Leah whispered.
"Same to you. Good night," Arthur whispered back.
Leah turned around and moved towards the main entrance. After she got past the watchman's cabin, she turned back. Arthur was still there. He mouthed a 'GO' and signaled her to move ahead quickly. She nodded and waved at him. He smiled and waved back. Leah entered the hallway and silently made her way up the stairs to her room. She carefully unlocked the door and got in. As she closed the door behind her, she closed her eyes, let out a deep sigh and smiled. She replayed the previous hour in her mind and kept smiling like an idiot.
"Where were you?"
Leah's smile faded. She opened her eyes to find Hannah sitting on the bed and looking at her with questioning eyes behind those thick-rimmed glasses.
"Umm..Well, I got bored studying. So had just gone out to take in some fresh air!" Leah said, with a wide and obviously fake grin spreading across her face. She awkwardly walked to her study table and dropped on the chair, pretending to be lost in the book that she'd hastily opened up.
"Cool!" Hannah replied, lying down on the bed and closing her eyes, "You forgot to return the sweatshirt to your 'fresh air', it seems!"
Leah suddenly realized she hadn't taken off Arthur's sweatshirt. She turned to face Hannah who had already dozed off. She smiled at her foolishness and took off the sweatshirt. She folded it neatly and brought it close to her face. "The wonderful scent.." she thought, as she breathed in. Shaking her head, she placed it on the study table, turned off the lights and lied down on her bed.
"Good night, Hannah!" she whispered.
Hannah just tossed on the bed and let out a 'hmmm', without opening her eyes.

Numb...

Its a numbing feeling... Why to do what I'm doing? Its so pointless! its all detached, really. Not mine to feel. Laugh? Ha-Ha... Just a hollow sound, echoes in the mouth... Echoes through the past...

Yeah, its cold. But is that making me shiver? Is that the reason my hands are shaking like so? Or is it something that's falling away... down... down... deep below....

"You just need to move on...!"

"He's not the right one..."

"He still cares, I know he does..."

"He's tried, over and over... But he just can't mould you into love..."

"Arey, tune shaadi bhi kar li?"
"Hat! Koi shadi-vadi nahi karni mujhe..."
"Mujhse bhi nahi...?"

"...I'm on a no-return flight from Switzerland to Kashmir...."

"...don't you dare say you're lucky..."

"It's not you, its WE. We're the luckiest to have each-other..."

"Gnyt B-)"


What's the dream? What's real? But does it matter now? It's breaking apart... Crumbling... Like all my dreams.... Shred to pieces....

"YOU need to tell him. You need to end it on your terms. Its gonna hurt. You'll cry. But it's for the good..."

"Your good..."

"...I won't leave you like she did.... Promise..."

"That's what I' gonna do... End up doing what I'd been saying I wouldn't for the last two years..."
"He'll hate me for this..."
"It's all gone..."
"I don't want to live without him..."

Yes, maybe that'll work. Crying hard onto your shoulder, Leah....
But I don't want to stop....
Its too miserable to stop...
Let go of him...
Two years... I never did what I should have done... I couldn't do anything...

End it... End it...

But how?

"Wanna talk to you. Can you spare me some time after 12 tonight?"