"God save me from love!" Leah exclaimed. She was talking to Yvaine, who was in an oh-my-God-we-are-so-much-in-love sort of a relationship with Anson. Leah had cracked a hell of a joke and Yvaine just seemed to BLUSH at it. That was more than enough to make Leah roll her eyes in an I-don't-want-to-live-on-this-planet-anymore way.
"You don't understand," Yvaine said, still blushing.
Yeah, right. I don't understand. Leah thought.
"Maybe I'm just too good at pretending," Leah said, in her usual matter-of-fact way.
Again, Yvaine turned a bright pink. She just seemed to blush at EVERYTHING! Leah swore a tomato would feel insecure in Yvaine's presence. Yes, she was too much in love. Too much.
And so Yvaine went on and on about how Anson would turn up late for their meetings, get down at wrong stations because he's so lost in talking to his sweetheart, wouldn't wake up until Yvaine called him forty-seven times and so on.
"You never fire him, do you?" Leah asked.
"Never! Neither does he!" Yvaine replied, obviously blushing.
"That's kinda cute," Leah said, with a pretty fake smile.
Yvaine wasn't much of a 'friend'. But Leah didn't really hate her. Only sometimes Yvaine was too annoying. Especially when she talked about Anson - which was ALL THE TIME! So, to sum it up, Yvaine was annoying all the time!
"Well, I do fire him, when he doesn't take his medicines," Yvaine said.
"For God's sake go and see a doctor on the face of this earth!" Arthur's words suddenly boomed in Leah's head. That's how he would react if she wasn't feeling well, yet would refuse to see a doctor.
"Doctors annoy me, Arthur, and I hate medicines," she'd say.
"You are never going to listen to me, are you?" he'd ask, furiously.
"No!" she'd say, winking. And then Leah would spend the next two hours pacifying him. Arthur wasn't the sort of a person who got angry too often. But when he did, it was equal to thousand hells breaking loose at the same time. And for the cherry on top, Leah was the only girl who succeeded in angering him.
"You seem lost," Yvaine said, disturbing Leah's wave of thoughts.
"Oh! Umm no, nothing!" Leah said, forcing another smile.
Yvaine didn't pester her anymore. She went back to narrating other koo-chi-koo incidences while Leah submerged herself in her own thoughts.
Leah somehow seemed to hate Yvaine for being so happy in a relationship. She hated herself even more for that. Leah knew she wasn't the sort of a person who would end up in despair just because she's jealous of someone who's in a healthy relationship. But in the end, she had to accept the bitter truth. Why does Yvaine seem like an annoying person while all she does is share moments of her heavenly relationship with me? Shouldn't I be happy? Leah often found herself dwelling on these thoughts. But she never found an answer. Or maybe she did, but wasn't ready to accept it.
For the world, for her friends, Leah was a girl who had turned away from the name of 'relationships'. Someone who dreamed about her future, a bright career instead of romance, the first kiss. It was true, Leah WANTED to be an ambitious girl. A self-centered strong woman who focused more on her family, her dreams. But that really wasn't Leah Kent.
When she had fallen for Arthur, she had never expected him to love her back. But when it happened, when they did land up in a relationship, she hadn't expected him to fall out. Not in one month, at least.
"Three months! Can you believe it?" Yvaine chirped.
"Congratulations" was all Leah could utter.
Two months since the breakup, Leah reminded herself. Things were pretty normal on Arthur's side. Things seemed to be normal with Leah, too. The 'seemed' made a lot of difference.
The relationship meant a lot to Leah. It was a sign that Arthur loved her. The day he told her he loved her was the day Leah felt she owned the world. It was her everything, the reason she smiled all the time. The reason she never had to fake being happy. The reason things just seemed perfect! And when it was gone, Leah felt hollow. Like it was all an illusion, like it was just a dream, like it never happened. It wasn't meant to last, anyway. 'Cause it was too good to be true, she told herself.
"Life is all about loving yourself, Becky. A person who can't love himself can't love anyone else truly," she told Rebecca. And that's why I love him so selflessly, she thought.
Leah was trying very hard to keep herself from falling. Every smile she faked was like a dagger that went through her heart. Every laughter was a sign that she'd mustered all her strength to gulp down those tears which were on the verge of escaping her large eyes. "I hate relationships!" She'd say, while she just wanted to cry out to Arthur and plead him to come back. "Leah Kent is a strong girl." Indeed, she thought, a rather fake one.
"You don't understand," Yvaine said, still blushing.
Yeah, right. I don't understand. Leah thought.
"Maybe I'm just too good at pretending," Leah said, in her usual matter-of-fact way.
Again, Yvaine turned a bright pink. She just seemed to blush at EVERYTHING! Leah swore a tomato would feel insecure in Yvaine's presence. Yes, she was too much in love. Too much.
And so Yvaine went on and on about how Anson would turn up late for their meetings, get down at wrong stations because he's so lost in talking to his sweetheart, wouldn't wake up until Yvaine called him forty-seven times and so on.
"You never fire him, do you?" Leah asked.
"Never! Neither does he!" Yvaine replied, obviously blushing.
"That's kinda cute," Leah said, with a pretty fake smile.
Yvaine wasn't much of a 'friend'. But Leah didn't really hate her. Only sometimes Yvaine was too annoying. Especially when she talked about Anson - which was ALL THE TIME! So, to sum it up, Yvaine was annoying all the time!
"Well, I do fire him, when he doesn't take his medicines," Yvaine said.
"For God's sake go and see a doctor on the face of this earth!" Arthur's words suddenly boomed in Leah's head. That's how he would react if she wasn't feeling well, yet would refuse to see a doctor.
"Doctors annoy me, Arthur, and I hate medicines," she'd say.
"You are never going to listen to me, are you?" he'd ask, furiously.
"No!" she'd say, winking. And then Leah would spend the next two hours pacifying him. Arthur wasn't the sort of a person who got angry too often. But when he did, it was equal to thousand hells breaking loose at the same time. And for the cherry on top, Leah was the only girl who succeeded in angering him.
"You seem lost," Yvaine said, disturbing Leah's wave of thoughts.
"Oh! Umm no, nothing!" Leah said, forcing another smile.
Yvaine didn't pester her anymore. She went back to narrating other koo-chi-koo incidences while Leah submerged herself in her own thoughts.
Leah somehow seemed to hate Yvaine for being so happy in a relationship. She hated herself even more for that. Leah knew she wasn't the sort of a person who would end up in despair just because she's jealous of someone who's in a healthy relationship. But in the end, she had to accept the bitter truth. Why does Yvaine seem like an annoying person while all she does is share moments of her heavenly relationship with me? Shouldn't I be happy? Leah often found herself dwelling on these thoughts. But she never found an answer. Or maybe she did, but wasn't ready to accept it.
For the world, for her friends, Leah was a girl who had turned away from the name of 'relationships'. Someone who dreamed about her future, a bright career instead of romance, the first kiss. It was true, Leah WANTED to be an ambitious girl. A self-centered strong woman who focused more on her family, her dreams. But that really wasn't Leah Kent.
When she had fallen for Arthur, she had never expected him to love her back. But when it happened, when they did land up in a relationship, she hadn't expected him to fall out. Not in one month, at least.
"Three months! Can you believe it?" Yvaine chirped.
"Congratulations" was all Leah could utter.
Two months since the breakup, Leah reminded herself. Things were pretty normal on Arthur's side. Things seemed to be normal with Leah, too. The 'seemed' made a lot of difference.
The relationship meant a lot to Leah. It was a sign that Arthur loved her. The day he told her he loved her was the day Leah felt she owned the world. It was her everything, the reason she smiled all the time. The reason she never had to fake being happy. The reason things just seemed perfect! And when it was gone, Leah felt hollow. Like it was all an illusion, like it was just a dream, like it never happened. It wasn't meant to last, anyway. 'Cause it was too good to be true, she told herself.
"Life is all about loving yourself, Becky. A person who can't love himself can't love anyone else truly," she told Rebecca. And that's why I love him so selflessly, she thought.
Leah was trying very hard to keep herself from falling. Every smile she faked was like a dagger that went through her heart. Every laughter was a sign that she'd mustered all her strength to gulp down those tears which were on the verge of escaping her large eyes. "I hate relationships!" She'd say, while she just wanted to cry out to Arthur and plead him to come back. "Leah Kent is a strong girl." Indeed, she thought, a rather fake one.
No comments:
Post a Comment